The Call of the Wuhu

If you had to pick a videogame setting to spend eternity in, you probably couldn't do better than to choose Wuhu Island, the colorful locale of Nintendo's Wii SPORTS RESORT. With its sunny beaches, crystal clear waters, friendly whales, Miis knocking each other about with plastic swords, and hyper-adorable, Frisbee-chasing puppies, the place easily sweeps you up in its jolly, good-natured atmosphere.

If you own a Wii and haven't picked this beauty up yet, dive in: You won't be sorry. Of the twelve events, branching into twenty four different games, there isn't a clunker in the bunch: I even love the two events pooped on by some reviewers: Cycling and Canoeing (both of which will get your blood pumping).


It is true, however, that Archery, Frisbee and Ping Pong are insanely addictive and startlingly life-like: They simply FEEL right. Golf and Bowling are improved from their already-excellent debut in Wii Sports. Swordplay is a blast. Wakeboarding and Power Cruising provide quick, intense fun amid dazzling visuals. The Three Point Basketball challenge is a hoot, as is the simple but quick-paced Half Court game.

Then there are the two Air Sports: Skydiving and Island Flyover. What other game introduces itself to you by throwing you out of an airplane to literally dive into the game? Falling, spreading your arms and gliding around to hook up with fellow divers as you plumet earthward--This is true wonderment. This is the genius of Shigeru Miyamoto and his crew firing on all cylinders. As for the Island Flyover...It's simply the most enjoyable, addictive endlessly fun free-flight game ever created. After two weeks of playing, I still haven't found those last two checkpoints...and I'm not gonna cheat on this one!

The game is wildly fun. As with most projects involving Miyamoto and the Miis, it is polished, whimsical and packed with humor and hidden surprises.

I do have a couple of mini complaints regarding odd omissions in its presentation. Miyamoto's team put tons of effort into making Wuhu Island a great place to visit and fly around, but they stopped short in many respects: Why is the main menu so plain? Why can't you watch a replay of your cycling race? For crying out loud, why can't you do anything with your skydiving photos? I'm sure the answer is: They ran out of time.

Nintendo should immediately start work on a follow-up. Bring back all these sports, plus tennis and baseball . But, most importantly, turn Wuhu Island into a full virtual-reality Animal Crossing-style game starring the Miis. Give players a choice between regular (choose games from a menu) and Wuhu Life mode.

In this new mode, your Mii would blow all his cash on his vacation and find himself without a plane ticket home. He'd be stuck living in a tent on the beach, chewing seaweed, with nothing left but his souvenir Ping Pong paddle. Good thing the games would have cash prizes in this mode! Your Mii would explore the Island on foot, talking to residents, making friends, and accepting sports challenges. Earn money for equipment, lodging and accesories...the possibilities are endless. You could work your way up from beach bum to Wuhu Island's most famous pro! Invest in the Island, opening a Scuba Club and an indoor Ski Slope! There's so much that could be done with this place!

That would turn an already great game into the best thing ever to appear on a console. As is, it's still a wonderful creation.

Punchout Returns in Style

The Wii remake of the classic Nintendo game Punchout!! blends frantic, addictive gameplay with some of the funniest character animation ever to grace a game.

My favorite games usually involve the chance to interact with memorable, well-animated characters. Punchout delivers this experience at a level of polish, intensity and charm that can only be matched by Nintendo's own Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

Punchout's a different animal, though. While Brawl revels in chaos and on-the-fly strategy, Punchout works almost like a quick-reflex puzzle game. Each fighter has his own mannerisms and attacks: Some punches cannot be countered, and some leave the character wide open to a fist in the face or belly. Visual and audible clues in the character's taunts and windups give you a split-second reveal of the incoming attack. If you can react quickly enough, and keep your attention sharp as the fight increases in speed and complexity, you will win.

Most likely, winning will take a while, with later fights needing to be repeated over and over as you:

1) Figure out the fighter's patterns and clues
2) Practice until you can respond quickly enough

That second point is the kicker, as Punchout is brutally unforgiving: Badly-timed moves lead to merciless pummelings for your character, Little Mac. Persistence, alertness, and lots of trial and error lead to victory.

Fortunately, Punchout is incredibly fun to play. The Thirteen opponents (plus one hidden cameo) form the most entertaining gaggle of pompous, egotistical meatheads to ever grace a game. As they strut, preen, boast and taunt, you can't help but smile. You'll chuckle later as they panic and lose their composure once you've discovered their weaknesses. Along the way, you'll find yourself involuntarily laughing and shouting out loud: Punchout truly becomes an immersive, emotion-grabbing thrill ride.

At its best, Nintendo delivers games that "click" on a level of sheer entertainment rarely matched by other companies. Bravo to Next Level Games (whose talented crew brilliantly crafted this remake for the big "N"), and welcome back, Punchout!!

STAR TREK REVIEW

The trailers did their job, and got me interested. The good buzz from advance screening audiences made me hopeful. As I took my seat at the first digital screening in my town, I expected to see a decent new Trek film. Nothing, however, could prepare me for how insanely fun this movie is.

Finally: Star Trek done right. Star Trek's best ideas combined with great acting, a solid script and enough of a budget to do it justice. Wow. If anything, this movie proves just how solid and timeless Gene Roddenberry's original concept was, and it's exhilarating to witness a new generation of viewers discovering this optimistic, thrilling dream of the human race's future.

The cast makes this thing fly, enabling the film to work as a tale of believable people facing incredible challenges. Everyone gets a chance to shine, and the characters instantly come to life whether or not the audience knows them from previous versions. Kirk is believable. Spock is terrific. Bones, Scotty and Chekov are hilarious. Uhura and Sulu are sincere and effective. Captain Pike provides a solid base of maturity and and courage: You believe one hundred percent that the younger crew members would risk their lives to rescue him.

And Leonard Nimoy's on hand to bless the procedings in one of the best and classiest cameos in film history.

Isn't it great to finally see a Trek movie that can stand side by side with other great big-budget action flicks? One that doesn't feel like a show episode? One that takes chances, stirs things up and touches your emotions like no Trek film has done since Wrath of Kahn?

One great scene after another. Every major crew member gets a moment to prove just why they deserve to be on this team. Every use of the transporter has a unique spin, either tragic or humorous. Scotty's arrival on ship--via accidental materialization into the engine's cooling system--was entertaining on an additional level: The filmmakers actually staged a way for the Enterprise to give birth to him!

The villain functions well, driving the story without pulling the spotlight away from the Enterprise Crew, but he's not terribly memorable. This leads to my one complaint about the film: No Klingons in sight! Klingons are fun villains, and need to return to screen ASAP.

All in all, the best and most heart-felt action movie I've seen in ages--More than I ever expected.

I want Klingons in the sequel!

Excitebots: Weird, Wonderful Nintendo

Nintendo is the Wonka Chocolate Factory of the video game industry.

No other game company can top Nintendo's knack for suddenly unveiling wonderfully bizarre games--Perplexing titles no one expected, arriving out of nowhere and delivering some of the best gameplay ever conceived.

Excitebots has arrived. Nintendo, I love you.

Here's a game where you travel the globe to race large robotic animals at 200 m.p.h. across wild off-road courses. That's not the weird part.

The robotic animals morph during the race: They roll on wheels, run on mechanical legs, swing around posts with robotic arms, and glide through the air. And, with time, they can dress up like cowboys, punk rockers and ballerinas.

That's not the weird part, either.

While piloting the robots, you will also be bowling, throwing darts, punting footballs, shooting soccer goals, making sandwiches, hurling pies at evil clowns, fishing, shaking off giant denture attacks, rescuing butterflies, smacking home runs and playing poker.

Yes, that's the weird part.

Now, I could be wrong, but I don't think anyone has ever combined racing and poker into one game before. Amazingly, it works. In fact, it's a blast, and the controls are easy to learn. Excitebots is one of the most thrilling, addictive and insanely enjoyable games I've ever played. If you own a Wii, check this thing out.

Now, excuse me. I need to earn enough stars to dress up my awesome hummingbird bot in an airline pilot costume.

Alice in Wonderland

Few would deny that Disney’s Alice in Wonderland fails on a lot of levels: It lacks emotion, it’s episodic, the story has no goal…

And yet…

It’s my favorite Disney film. It haunted my dreams way back in my sixties childhood when Disney animation was a rare treat (I think small children can relate to Alice’s fear of being lost in Tulgey Wood, and that—if you experience this film at a young age—the movie retains a deep-rooted sense of peril that’s lost on those who initially view it as an adult.) Time has been kind to this movie: Watching it today, all the narrative problems still exist, but the film amazes, dazzles and completely succeeds at conjuring a cohesive, unforgettable world unlike anything else in the history of cinema.

Visually, it’s a masterpiece that looks fresher and more daring with each passing decade. It playfully weaves nearly two dozen songs—many of them mere fragments—into its colorful soundtrack. It’s not sappy or preachy. It actually sticks fairly close to the book’s storyline. It substitutes visual puns for Lewis Carroll’s wordplay, and mostly succeeds. And, after all the criticism fired at the movie when it debuted in the fifties, no other studio has created a more successful adaptation. I rather liked the TV movie a few years back featuring Martin Short, Christopher Lloyd, Gene Wilder and Peter Ustinov (it’s on iTunes), but it had its own share of pacing problems and took just as many liberties with the book. We’ll see how Tim Burton fares next year—I’m looking forward to it.

Let’s look at the negatives of Disney’s version: The ever-annoyed Alice often seems bratty and arrogant, and she learns nothing from the adventure. The journey has no compelling goal. The fragmented plot is episodic to a ridiculous extreme: Whole sequences can be removed without making any noticeable difference. The music, while generally terrific, frequently becomes brash and intrusive, particularly when it’s used to emphasize gags.

So, what does the movie offer to make it worthwhile? Sheer, incredible visual wonderment. Fantastic backgrounds and amazing use of light and color from the minds of Mary Blair and Claude Coats. Memorable character designs. Terrific animation.

Plus, it contains The Awesome Sequence: One long, perfect chain of scenes—The Cheshire Cat, The Tea Party and Tulgey Wood—that I’d rate as one of the most brilliant twenty minutes of film in Disney’s history: Genius designs, great dialogue and pacing, big laughs, craziest moments and—for once—Alice displays some genuine concern about being lost in Weirdsville. During the song Very Good Advice, I love the fact that the forest animals don’t help Alice; They simply sob themselves into non-existence. Unexpected and unique. If only the whole film clicked on the level of these scenes…

The Cheshire Cat, of course, is this movie’s big gift to pop culture. Creepy, funny, mysterious and odd, he turns out to be a hilarious S.O.B. who sets Alice up for disaster for his own amusement—thus joining Wendy-hating Tinkerbell as a beloved Disney character who tries to arrange the heroine’s execution!

And, on a completely different note, this movie inspired one of the best dark rides in any Disney park. But that’s another post.

So here’s a toast to Alice in Wonderland, the problem movie that continues to delight. Flaws and all, it deserves to be called a classic.

Animal Crossing

Animal Crossing's concept sounds dreadful, but--like so many Nintendo creations--once you actually sit down and play the thing, it unfolds as a charming, funny and incredibly entertaining experience.

With the Wii incarnation marking the franchise's third release in several years, Animal Crossing is a non-game in which you move to a small village and...well...collect seashells and pick fruit. You also spread rumors, start trends, save the local museum, get annoyed with your neighbors, and hit rocks with a shovel in hopes that money might fly out. Thanks to sharp style and gobs of good, weird humor, this is all a hundred times more fun than it sounds.

Imagine a cross between the TV classic The Prisoner and Richard Scary's Busy Town. You begin life in your one-of-a-kind randomly-generated village by working to pay off your mortgage to the notorious Mr. Tom Nook. He's a human-sized raccoon. The mayor's a tortoise, dogs are cops, an owl runs the museum, a huge mustachioed pigeon tends bar at the coffee house, and your random assortment of ever-changing neighbors run the gamut from horses to mice and kabuki-faced cats. Each and every one of these villagers has a distinct personality, and that's where the charm of Animal Crossing shines. This was the original "game that plays even when you're not there." Using the system's internal clock as a reference, the game changes and updates what's happening in the village each time you boot up, creating an effective illusion that life in the place continues in your absence. Stay away too long and you might return to find your house infested with cockroaches, which you'll have to stamp out. Neighbors come and go (you can influence this). Special events happen weekly, monthly and annually. A fan favorite takes place every Saturday night at Brewster's coffee bar: The whimsical and incredibly cool folk singing dog, K.K. Rider, performs a song of your choosing, after which you can take home a recording to listen to on a virtual tape player.

The game has minor goals--Earn money, upgrade your house, improve the village, collect stuff, catch rare fish, donate fossils to the museum--but Animal Crossing is best enjoyed for what it is: A relaxing, surreal, good-humored trip to a fantasy vacation spot, meant to be enjoyed in short bursts. It won't change anyone's life or challenge anyone's reflexes...but it certainly makes people smile.

Memories of Azeroth

World of Warcraft remains the best game I've ever played, online or off. Enchanting, funny, scary and awe-inspiring, it gave me six months of pure, flabbergasting enjoyment before I had my fill.

My characters, Smithereens and his pet bear Avalanche, were walking disasters that few would ever invite into a group more than once. My communication with other players usually consisted of "Oops," and "Sorry about that." Smithereens had a knack for running out of ammo at crucial moments. Avalanche liked to run through monster encampments and then return to Smithereens's side, bringing his new buddies with him.

I'll alway remember Azeroth and its incredible landscapes that resembled living, three-dimensional paintings. I spent half the game taking screenshots. And I'll always remember my pals Smithereens and Avalanche. I like to imagine they're still out there somewhere, running for their lives from angry players...